apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
do nipples grow back?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
