it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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