Did you just see the Batmobile???
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize