I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
