New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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