everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
