She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
