just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you didnt know i had herpes?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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