I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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