...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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