Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
