I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
