i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this boner is exhausting
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
