the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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