you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize