do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
