Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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