just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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