So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
