i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
