I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
