She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
