i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
