Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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