I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
