if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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