did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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