Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
