Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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