Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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