yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
