I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
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