after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
