went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and she was petting her beer can
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
