This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
