After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
