You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
