I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
