never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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