shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
