And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Panties = found
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize