Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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