I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
