never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
