im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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