Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
