There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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