how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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