I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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