Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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