Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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