We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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