This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
