I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I love having hate sex.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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