u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
