Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
